Over the years I have faced countless do-gooders.
Volunteers, innovators, civic enthusiasts and artists – all insistent on seeing (and being) change in this town, unafraid to take ownership of the problems and challenges of Memphis, and all lacking the basic apathy and cynicism required to be well-adjusted citizens in the world that I prescribe.
And I have fought them…alone. One genius against an army of activists.
But not anymore.
The time has come to fight fire with fire.
So I am starting my own army. A voluntary anti-volunteer taskforce, loyal to me, and dedicated to infiltrating the many misguided causes of Memphis.
This new force in readiness shall be called the Volunteer Infiltration Program.
Under my brilliant leadership, VIP minions will work alongside Memphis do-gooders, aiding them in their (how it pains me to say it)…charitable…endeavors, while secretly spying on them and bringing back reports, photos, and other intelligence gathered from their time undercover.
It won’t be easy, the work will be real.
But you can be part of a better Memphis. A saner one. Taking comfort in knowledge that your efforts serve a greater of cause:
Help your Doctor get the do-gooders the help they so badly need.