As the city’s premier mental health provider, it is inconceivable for Memphis to experience any sense of hope, confidence, or adequacy without my indispensable…and quite profitable…assistance.
So when the Spirit of Memphis uprising erupted last summer, promising free civic pride and self-esteem for everyone, I knew I had to crush it and crush it quickly.
Although organizers staged outbreaks all over the city, I made my stand at the Levitt Shell for the so-called Memphis Loves Kids Celebration.
Taking to the stage, I set parents straight on the horrors of underage art exposure, sparing many children from a traumatic future of creative outlets.
It was my finest hour. I could almost see the Spirit of Memphis shrivel before my expert ministrations. I even found time to educate the local media on the dangers of Childhood Creativity Disorder.
Yet another victory in the battle against hope.
See more documentation of my triumph in the patient gallery.