The Horrific Dangers of Partyophilia

Memphis loves to party too much

A cautionary warning by Doctor Harold Toboggans

M.D., D.F., F.M., Psy.D, WhyD-TyD

Each year, thousands of unsuspecting Memphians indulge in the countless concerts, art festivals, and other social dangers infesting our city, never suspecting that they may fall victim to the most insidious psychological plague of our time:

Partyophilia.

Simply put, Partyophilia is the irrational and inexplicable compulsion to engage in relaxation, recreation, and the company of other people.

Symptoms include:

  • mingling
  • laughter
  • painful-looking dances
  • smiling
  • strange attire
  • mild intoxication
  • a complete and utter lack of useful labor.

Harold Toboggans with a party loverA victim suffering from partyophilia

Harold Toboggans cures a lover of partiesA victim recovering from partyophilia

If you or someone you love are suffering from the horror of Partyophilia, don’t wait – contact the modest and amazingly brilliant Doctor Harold Toboggans today for a complimentary* psychiatric assessment.

Before you know it, you’ll be discovering neuroses you never knew you had.

Remember: “All work and no play keeps your Doctor quite well paid.”

“Adequacy is within your grasp.”

———————

*Not a free service, we just promise not to laugh at you until your credit report comes in.

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