Memphis is a city awash in do-goodery. You can hardly swing your arm in any direction without striking some citizen volunteering their time for something useful, helpful, and worst of all…free. So as a service to my clueless and undeserving patients, I have compiled this list of volunteer temptations to be avoided at all costs. For an even more thorough and disturbing list, see the inveterate enablers at Volunteer Mid-South.